Thursday, December 17, 2009
This Christmas is going to be extra special for us. The arrival of Lucas and also his dad turning 30 on Boxing Day means we have plenty to celebrate about.
In the last 6 weeks our lives have been completely turned around and apart from the sleepless nights and some days of sheer exhaustion, it is completely wonderful.
The other day I decided to take Lucas out for the first time. Having a ceaserean means you can't drive for 6 weeks so I had to wait until now. Oh the stress of it! And if you are not a first time Mum I really understand how petty this sounds. I would have thought so too. Pre-baby I remember standing in front of 300 people presenting an award at my old job. I barely raised a sweat and quite looked forward to it. But the morning of my scheduled day out to meet a girlfriend for coffee at 10am turned into a sweating, anxious morning. Did I bring enough things, will I need more than one bottle of milk, will he overheat in our 44 degree summer, will I be able to strap him into his car seat and how do I work this pram again?
So after starting to get ready at 6.30am I made it on time for my 10am coffee date particularly proud of myself apart from wearing a dress that is not wind-proof. You try setting up a pram, getting a floppy kid out of a 4wd and trying to hold down your dress. However we made it.
After my coffee date, I went to do some grocery shopping (yes I have an angel that slept through it all) and passed a mirror. Somewhere beyond the stack of tomatoes was a woman pushing a pram. After I got over the bags under her eyes (are you tired lady?) I realised that mummy was me. It is still a shock sometimes to see myself as a mother. I used to look at other women in the shopping centre and think 'oh that's a nice dress she's wearing'. Now I look at the mothers with babies and we give each other that smile that only mothers can exchange. That one that says 'your baby is so cute and you are doing the hardest but most rewarding job in the world'.
I decided last week that I wasn't superwoman. Actually my tired, worn out, haven't slept more than 3 hours in one block body decided I was not superwoman. I decided to come to the realisation that a little dog hair on the floor was not going to mean the end of the world. Or that my husband would have to eat a sandwich for dinner from time to time. Husband looked at me one day and saw a youthful fresh motherly face...ok that's a lie, he saw a tired hormonal sleep deprived person. So, being the wonderful husband he is he hired a cleaner and a dog walker. (oh yeah along with all the mother guilt you inherit I also had dog guilt as she wasn't getting walked enough). If you think your husband won't get you a cleaner, can i recommend a ceaserean section and just watch what he does when the doctor tells him HE is the one that has to vacuum and mop for a few months...
Yesterday I was thinking back to this time last year. We were getting ready to spend Christmas in Austria, a short (short by Australian standards!) 6 hour drive from our home in Florence. We got there and experienced -20 degrees and for me, the first time I'd seen real snow. This year it is 44 degrees and we are on a cyclone watch.
It was in Austria that husband and I decided we would start trying for a baby (you know because EVERYONE says it will take us at least a year, hmmm ok one month later!). Who knew that all that talking (well that and something else!) would end up with a completely different Christmas this year with our beautiful son Lucas.
Merry Christmas everyone, hope you have had a blessed year. From Italy to Australia, and from singlehood to motherhood - it's certainly being an experience for us this year which ended in the biggest blessing of all.